Saturday, February 9, 2008

My first week solo with Gratia..hehehee

Ok, so this was my first week after Tim went back to work. I admit, I am fine and I never thought I wouldn't be able to handle it, but when you have your side kick with you for 5 weeks you get a little spoiled and come accustomed to the finer things of life. It was wonderful having Tim home. But this week I learned a lot about myself, my son and my daughters. Mostly about my relationship with Elijah.
I have never parented a 2.5 yr old boy. Nothing to compare it to. I feel like I get stuck. In a place of no return. To put it lightly this week was probably hardest week I have ever faced with Elijah. I will blame it on the weather. True it was a very cold, windy and rainy week, which means that most people are inside all day. Especially with the little ones. There are the lack of walks, tball games. poo sticks, riding bikes ect.
Basically what it led to was a child who on more than one occasion trying to show off his wrestling moves with his younger sister, and a mom, that's me, realizing that just because he isn't listening doesn't mean I need to talk louder (yell) so that he can hear me better. I am not proud of those moments. God definitely grabs me. I repent. Not only to Him but to my son as well.
In spite of myself God somehow takes those horrible moments and turns them around. I find when I repent to Elijah and ask his forgiveness and vice versa it tightens our relationship. God is truly amazing.
This will always be an ongoing tension, discpline and finding out what works, but as of now what I know to be true and need to remember, and continue, is to daily renew my mind with His Word, to pray pray pray, and be ok with a day of horsey rides, even if I don't get the toilets cleaned.


ocm said...

clean toilets are overrated. really.

: )

Sherri said...

LOL...we got the joke! sounds like it was grace alone. ;)

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.