Monday, July 13, 2009

The past 6 months.

It's been 6 months, about, since Tim lost his job with Starbucks. Initially, for maybe 5 minutes, I was furious. Maybe, make that 10 minutes. Furious towards my loving husband, and furious at that woman who made the final out of no where from left field decision. I went back and forth, but then I remember my back hit the wall and I had no strength left but to just slide down inch by inch and land on whatever caught me. He caught me. Though in retrospect, He didn't have to catch me, He had never let go. Still hasn't. There are times though I wanted Him to. I know that can come off as a crazy thought, but if I had my way...I oughta!

I am definitely learning patience and to just trust. TRrrrUSSSttttT. Such and easy word to say, but so hard to truly do with all of your heart, strength and mind. Trust Him with everything. Trust Him with Tim finding a new job, to trust Him with our marriage, to trust him with our finances, with our children, our home, the list or whatever you want to call it, it's endless.

I had no idea though.... I had no idea this is what God had for us, in order to stretch us and make us more like Him. I had no idea. I had no idea that our community of friends and family at church, the body we serve with and love, would carry us through this season. I had no idea what His people were capable of. I had no idea what the body of Christ was capable of. It's truly amazing.

I really didn't expect anything. Not because I had low expectations, we just had never gone through this type of trial before or gone along side someone who has. We were just, some doing it better than others, patiently waiting. Waiting for Him to show up. Knowing He has us here for a specific purpose and plan. And He did. He has. Thank you. Thank you Jesus. So with that said, He showed up.

(God you are so gracious. Your mercies are new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness!)

It's hard to find the words to describe what it feels like when: you recieve cards in the mail without a return address and money inside, or when a dear friend writes you checks for the next 6 months hoping that it would be something substantial to ease the hardship and get our family by a little easier, or when gobs of families come together to make meals for you 3 times a week for 2 months, or how about when you return to your car after Sunday service and there is a goodie bag of clothes for the kids perched on the passenger seat and an envelope on your windowshield that is marked: THE ZIONS with a gift inside, or the random cash Tim will find in his back pocket from a friend that snuck it in with out him noticing until later that day, or when you haven't had a date night with your wonderful husband and just so happens Tim ran into someone earlier that day and gave him a gift card for a lovely dinner or two out, or when you find random boxes of food or other goodies on your doorstep, or when people want to do a Costco run for you without reimbursement, or when someone takes you to the gas station to fill our large enormous tank FULL. We are so full. Full because we serve a God who is so very faithful and because He has put this body of believers around our family so very tightly; to walk with us, to help, to pray, to talk with, and to grow us. To grow us ALL closer to Him.

To be continued.....


The Gonzales Family Blog said...

Mariah, you are inspiring!!!Your Babies are amazing. We had a season with Leroy out of work last year, and it was a very challening time, yet the Lord was our provider. We never went without. I am amazed at how The Lord never leaves us, and daily He wants us to run to him for everything we need. I saw this link on facebook. I love Blogs!!! We also have one,
Thanks for your encourgement today. Walking in Grace, Julie Gonzales

Unknown said...

Thanks Mer for sharing this! I love you big time and I'm praying for you guy's.Your peace in it all is super inspiring.

kellycowan said...

crazy i was JUST thinking in the car this morning over my past two years and the fact that GOD HAS MADE US TO EXIST IN COMMUNITY overwhelmed me and i found myself thanking him for a long list of people who have given to us over the past couple of years. the body of christ, when it is giving itself away in love, is truly the best picture of the light of God. and to have it shine on you is awe inspiring. i am so thankful for everyone who has loved on you guys. and i know this love is in you too! for i have seen your light of giving in this season too!! i love you.

Desi Rambler said...

Praise God for his mercies. I just happened to come by your blog and I am glad I did. I have had similar mom lost her job just at the time when my younger brother and I were getting out of high school for our higher education. But it was God's immense mercy that took us through those rough days. He took care of all the finances and provided us with whatever we needed. Praise Him today and always.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.